Glorious St. Joseph, model of all who are devoted to labor, obtain for me the grace to work in the spirit of penance in expiation of my many sins; to work conscientiously by placing love of duty above my inclinations; to gratefully and joyously deem it an honor to employ and to develop by labor the gifts I have received from God, to work methodically, peacefully, and in moderation and patience, without ever shrinking from it through weariness or difficulty to work; above all, with purity of intention and unselfishness, having unceasingly before my eyes death and the account I have to render of time lost, talents unused, good not done, and vain complacency in success, so baneful to the work of God. All for Jesus, all for Mary, all to imitate thee, O patriarch St. Joseph! This shall be my motto for life and eternity. - Prayer of Pius X

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Lament

(I wrote this letter to members of St. Joe's after we forced some homeless friends to remove tents from behind the building after we were threatened with fines by the city planning department in October. The church and parking lot are on a rise and are commonly known to the homeless around the Ninth Street area of Durham as "The Hill.")

Lament

10/12/10

Friends,

We worship a God who once saw fit to dwell in a tent. Later He established His dwelling place on a hill. After a time God became incarnate to a virgin in a stable that almost certainly wasn’t zoned for “transient lodging.” Unlike the foxes and the birds, the Christ had nowhere to lay his head and depended entirely on the hospitality of others. This Jesus also said that which we do or don’t do unto the least of those who are members of his family; the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger; we do unto him.

I fear that we evicted our Lord yesterday afternoon.

I know the ecclesial situation; I understand in part the civil situation. I am sympathetic to pragmatic concerns. I am deeply grateful to those who serve St. Joseph’s so faithfully on the behalf of its members, communicants, and ministry partners. I feel a part of St. Joseph’s though I am not a member, which is why I said “we” in the statement above.

I also hear the way in which the poor and homeless are battered by opaque and anonymous systems that criminalize their very existence and keep them from getting the help that has been established for them. A very understandable and justified sense of fatalism develops about the police, correctional system, and social welfare system. That there are rules and standards matters little to those tossed about. These forces are the powers and principalities spoken of by Saint Paul. I’m convinced that the civil and ecclesial forces that used us to wrest our friends from their sanctuary are of that same character and those against which the apostle called us to quarrel.

I don’t have an answer. I’m not sure there is one. I’m not looking for a response to this e-mail, nor would I see one until I return from a retreat at the end of the week. I am still unspeakably sad. I will be in prayer for our souls. I will also be meditating on Psalm 15, which savaged me as I was seeking to make sense of this whole thing last night.

Peace,

Luke


Psalm 15

“O LORD, who may abide in your tent?

Who may dwell on your holy hill?

Those who walk blamelessly, and do what is right,

and speak the truth from their heart;

who do not slander with their tongue,

and do no evil to their friends,

nor take up a reproach against their neighbors;

in whose eyes the wicked are despised,

but who honor those who fear the LORD;

who stand by their oath even to their hurt;

who do not lend money at interest,

and do not take a bribe against the innocent.

Those who do these things shall never be moved.”

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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Heaven


Type Your Post Summary HereThe Remainder of Your Post Goes Here

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Breakfast 10.6.10

After MP this morning one of the guys that had noisily walked in during prayer came up to me while I was changing the Psalms on the hymnboard. I was rather defensive expecting to be panhandled for something or another. After I worked my way through my unjustified judgmental-ness I was humiliated to realize that G was in fact telling me that he didn't know how to cross himself properly during the prayers and that he wanted some instruction. After a few minutes he looked alike a pro. "You'll have to give me a quiz later," he said.

Breakfast was well attended - about eight of us, Gail working on the stove. I was especially happy to see one of our regulars who had a court date yesterday. He had told me that he might be in jail today, so his presence meant that all had gone well as expected. E told stories about his time in Europe learning to "winter camp" from the snowboarding students who wandered across Switzerland, a skill he then transferred to winter survival in Boston. T, a young woman who's been with us for some time, joined the conversation and, after some twists and turns, we realized that we both grew up in Minneapolis about 20 miles apart, and that she used to go "Fergus Falls Days" in my wife's hometown. One newcomer, B, was in town to work at the State Fair before going back to Greensboro. "But I know all these guys out here for a while."

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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

"...as the incense..."

Yesterday on the Feast of St Francis of Assisi we sang a Solemn Evensong at my instigation since, other than simply being the greatest and most beloved Saint of the church after Our Lady, he also has the unenviable honor of praying for me as I contemplate entering his Third Order.

Before the service I told our old and much-written-of friend C that that I needed to go into the church and start the incense for the service. Curious, and known to be incense-loving, he asked, and I showed him the big bag of spiced incense that we use and the coal he instantly recognized as identical to those used to smoke hookah. So I ended up giving him a few coals and a little bag of sweet smelling crystals. Having thought nothing of it at the time, and today having completely forgotten about it, I walked into the hospitality house this afternoon only to find that it now smelled just like the church.

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Sunday, October 3, 2010

St. Augustine Against Idolatry

ὁ ἀναγινώσκων νοείτω.

"Foolish people think their gifts are given by the demons they worship; indeed they sometimes say to themselves, 'God is necessary for eternal life, for spiritual life, but we need to worship those other powers to make sure of temporal things.' Oh, the empty-headedness of the human race! You set greater store by those advantages for the sake of which you want to worship demons; in fact you think it more important to pay cult to them - well, perhaps I should not say more important, but at any rate equally important. But God does not want to be worshiped along with them, not even if he gets much more worship and they much less. 'What,' you will say, 'aren't those gods necessary too, if we are to secure everyday things?' Absolutely not. 'But we should still be afraid that they may do us harm if they are angered.' They will do no harm unless God allows it. They will always have the will to do harm; they never stop wanting to, even if they are appeased or appealed to, for this is characteristic of their ill-will. What will you achieve, then, by worshiping them, except to displease God? And if he is offended you will be handed over into their power, with the result that those who could do nothing to you when God was well disposed will be able to do whatever they like once he is angry. If any one of you thinks that this sort of worship is necessary to secure temporal well-being, the following example will help you to see the futility of it. Take all those who worship Neptune: are they immune to shipwreck? What about all those who scoff at Neptune: does that mean they never reach harbor? And all those women who worship Juno: do they all give birth successfully? Or do all those who scoff at Juno miscarry? You must understand, beloved, that the men and women bent on worshiping these gods are empty-headed, for if it were necessary to pay cult to them for earthly things, only people who worship them would have these earthly things in plentiful supply. Even if that were the case, we should nonetheless shun such gifts and seek from God only the one thing [namely, to contemplate the Lord's delight], and all the more so because the God who is slighted when such gods are worshiped gives us earthly things too. So let our [former] father leave us, and our [former] mother too; [that is,] let the devil leave us and the city of Babylon leave us. And let the Lord take us into his arms to console us with temporal things, and bless us with the gifts of eternity. [So the Psalmist says,] 'My father and mother have abandoned me; but the Lord has taken me up.'"

Augustine of Hippo. "Exposition 2 of Psalm 26." In Exposition of the Psalms 1-32 (III/15), ed. John E. Rotelle, 15, 274-290. (Hyde Park: New City Press, 2000), 286-287.

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Nyssan on Hospitality

One of my students quoted this pearl in his paper on hospitality. Thanks Brian.

"Words are united to deeds with regard to what is true, and the Lord does not say that salvation consists in words but in deeds which effect salvation (Matthew 7:21). Thus we are responsible to follow his command. Let no one say that it is sufficient to send food to people not involved in our lives. This does not reveal mercy but an outward show in order to remove such persons from our presence. Do not their lives put us to shame and make us like dogs? A hunter does not avoid the lairs of young animals and the farmer knows how to care for calves; many such examples may be offered. Even the traveler washes the feet of his ass, takes care of its wounds, and cleanses its stable of dung. Will we refuse to neglect human beings and their beasts? No, my brothers, no. Let us not have this attitude towards our fellow men."

- From a homily of Gregory of Nyssa, "As You Did It To One Of These"

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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

This is the Ivy League on poverty:
http://video.nytimes.com/video/2010/03/22/opinion/1247467422908/bloggingheads-mental-bandwidth-scarcity.html

Not to be ugly, but we needed a study to tell us that dad is grumpy at home when work is stressful? The scarcity of mental resources is the key concept? At no point do they ask questions like, "Should the workplace be less demanding?" Or maybe we should ask whether we are "educating" people in such a way (Christians would call this "formation") that they have the tools to deal with their own exhaustion. It seems to me that in the air-traffic control study the relevant factors are (1) a high stress job, (2) the presumption that the dad's priority is job performance, and (3) that dad's shortness with the kids is justified by the absolute scarcity of his mental resources. All the video addresses is how to quantify (3). Really? This is the level of intellectual creativity/sophistication dealing with "poverty" coming out of the Ivy League??

Suppose instead we trash (3) altogether by saying first that an absolute scarcity of mental resources is a vacuous category (let's replace it with, say, a degree of virtue -- e.g., whether the dad has developed the habit of patience) and second that shortness with the kids is not justifiable (even if sometimes it is understandable... the difference, clearly, is that understandability has to do with our common experience of temptation while justifiability has to do with justice, or rendering to our kids what is proper, i.e., patience). Now, just trashing (3) it seems to me breaks the whole cycle of nonsense. The dad, recognizing his impatience now has to sit down and figure out (1) how better to respond to his kids and (2) whether he is capable of doing so in the face of the current level of temptation (i.e., exhaustion) generated by his job. If he doesn't have the virtue to deal with that temptation, then flee the temptation!

In a true situation of poverty, things get sticky quickly as for example when dad has no real choices for jobs and is only making enough to get by and, perhaps, on top of everything else is being exploited by the employer. It's a recipe for all sorts of problems, and in this case there is perhaps no "fleeing" the temptation to be impatient with the kids.

My presumptuous impression is that the dad's stress is driven primarily by the sense that there is no where to turn. If the church is being the church, then this shouldn't be the case.

This is where Peter Maurin comes in. The church has to make it easier for people to be good, by serving the poor and by bearing one another's burdens. The kind of poverty in the video is not just material poverty. It's also a poverty of virtue, a lack of the Spirit.

One more thought:

What if the rich become more sinful when the church fails to serve the poor? I wonder if we think about this in the church? We often talk about the communal nature of sin to point out that it is all our sins that generate the destitution and oppression of the poor. But if we are serious about helping our neighbor not to sin, then the failure of the church to serve the poor (a sin in itself) may be visited on the rich in a similar way. Our sin may tempt them/us to greater sin.

Do with it what you will.

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Monday, March 22, 2010

Finding Jesus

[The following sermon I preached at St. Joseph's Episcopal Church, the 5th Sunday of Lent 2010. The Gospel text is John 12:1-12.]

This is the Fifth Sunday of Lent. Next week we follow Jesus into Jerusalem, joyfully proclaiming as king this goofy beggar riding on a donkey, whom we will then proceed to mock, judge, torture and kill during holy week. We are not quite there, however. This week we sit with him in Bethany, continuing our strident and joyful penance, to which Bp. Marble called us anew a couple weeks back.

To what, this week, is our attention drawn? From what vanity are we to turn?

St Augustine says on our Gospel passage: “Anoint
the feet of Jesus: follow Jesus’ feet by living a good life. Wipe them with your hair. What you have beyond what you need, give to the poor, and you have wiped the feet of the Lord…You have something to spare from your abundance: it is excess for you, but necessity for the feet of the Lord. Perhaps on this earth the Lord’s feet are still in need. For of whom but his body parts did he say, “In as much as you did it to one of the least of mine, you did it to me?” You gave what was beyond necessity for you, but you have done a grateful thing to my feet.”

I wish to make just make a couple of simple points.

First, Augustine makes the point that what we lavish upon the poor we lavish upon Jesus. This is simple enough, but hard in practice. It is hard to see Jesus in the drunken, slightly pushy, smelly beggar on 9th St. But, though he is not a saint, he is still our Lord. “You will always have the poor with you.” Jesus says. He also says “I am with you even unto the end of the age” and St. Thomas Aquinas says that we had better read these two saying together: Jesus hangs out with us, dwells among us, in the person of that beggar. Jesus is not being selfless when he says: “Give to him who begs.”

Beggars themselves do this all the time. If you want to see folks unafraid to give, go hang out in our back parking lot. A while back I was taking a couple of these folks to down to Target to get some things they wanted. As we were pulling out of the parking after having done our shopping we stopped at the light where a beggar stood with a sign asking for money. I knew I only had a 20 in my wallet and so I didn’t reach for anything. The two guys dug in their pockets and came up with about four bucks for the beggar. “Whenever you get a chance to help somebody out, do it,” one of them said.

Jesus lives among us in the poor. But this points out that, downright inconveniently, Jesus has not chosen to hang out just everywhere. He does not tell us that we will find him everywhere we look. He does not say “if you want to find me, look at the sun set, look in a child’s eyes, look at the flowers, or the moonlit night.” We might find him in these places, but probably not until we have learned to find him in the places that he has told us specifically that he hangs out. Where else does Jesus say he is going to be found?

Besides the poor, Jesus says that he is present in the corporate prayers of the church. “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them.” Here we learn our Savior’s voice in the daily reading of the scriptures and his prayers in the Psalms. We sing the songs of the church, his body. We read about his saints who embody him, and we beg for his mercy and forgiveness for the ways that we do not. We receive his peace from the hand of our sisters and brothers.

Climactically, of course, Jesus, has promised to be present in the Eucharist. In bread broken and wine poured out, as one saint used to say, we look at Jesus and he looks at us. Here, in this food, we taste and savor our Lord. Our senses are trained to know him, as it were, from the inside out. We know how to see the Lord only after he has told us where he is and what he looks like.

Before we can see Jesus everywhere we have to see him somewhere. So the first step toward seeing Jesus everywhere is to hang out in the places that he has promised us he will be. Learning to see Jesus in our spouses, our children, our labor or the created order must start by seeing him in the Eucharist, in common prayer, and in the poor. For how will we know how to find him in the places where he is hard to see if we haven’t learned from his certain presence in the places he assures us he will be.

But Judas always stands as a temptation to find Jesus wherever we want. “This resource could have been sold and given to the poor.” Such things are allegorical. Judas becomes for us a type of vice, whereby we determine the most effective means of serving Jesus. How many times have we all heard the argument about how inefficient and impractical it is to give directly to the beggar! Jesus says “Give to him who begs and you did it to me.” Judas says “He just wants a beer. I give my money to the shelter and I pay my taxes. That’s what the state and the charities are there for. They make sure the money goes to good use. If I keep giving to him I’m just perpetuating the problem.” The particularly vicious part of this outsourcing of the poor, says St. John’s Gospel, is that thereby we do not actually love the poor. For in not lavishing what we have on Jesus right in front of us, we profit. We might even say that we steal. We keep something for ourselves that belongs to Jesus. If it is not the money, it is security, it is comfort, it is our own schedule, our own healthy boundaries.

So: in this chaotic world with its anxiety and pressures, distractions and temptations, and demands for loyalty on all sides, it is hard to know where to find Jesus. But He gives us a roadmap of sorts. He tells us where we can reliably find Him, where He will always 'show up'. And if He is 'showing up' at the Eucharist, the prayers and among the poor, but we are not, then we must hear again that chilling question asked of Adam in the Fall: 'Where are you?' We are invited back into Eden, to walk in the cool of the evening with God, this is the building of and participation in the Kingdom, and it looks like this: Come to the Table. Gather for common prayer. Anoint and wipe the feet of the Lord while he is with you.

Amen.

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Saturday, March 20, 2010

Why I Love My Bike (and hate my car)

The following is an excerpt from Ivan Illich's book Toward a History of Needs

THE INDUSTRIALIZATION OF TRAFFIC

People move well on their feet. This primitive means of getting around will, on closer analysis, appear quite effective when compared with the lot of people in modern cities or on industrialized farms. It will appear particularly attractive once it has been understood that modern Americans walk, on the average, as many miles as their ancestors -- most of them through tunnels, corridors, parking lots, and stores.

People on their feet are more or less equal. People solely dependent on their feet move on the spur of the moment, at three to four miles per hour, in any direction and to any place from which they are not legally or physically barred. An improvement on this native degree of mobility by new transport technology should be expected to safeguard these values and to add some new ones, such as greater range, time economies, comfort, or more opportunities for the disabled. So far this is not what has happened. Instead, the growth of the transportation industry has everywhere had the reverse effect. From the moment its machines could put more than a certain horsepower behind any one passenger, this industry has reduced equality, restricted mobility to a system of industrially defined routes, and created time scarcity of unprecedented severity. As the speed of their vehicles crosses a threshold, citizens become transportation consumers...

More energy fed into the transportation system means that more people move faster over a greater range in the course of every day. Everybody's daily radius expands at the expense of being able to drop in on an acquaintance or walk through the park on the way to work. Extremes of privilege are created at the cost of universal enslavement. The few mount their magic carpets to travel between distant points that their ephemeral presence renders both scarce and seductive, while the many are compelled to trip farther and faster and to spend more time preparing for and recovering from their trips.

The captive tripper and the reckless traveler become equally dependent on transport. Neither can do without it. Occasional spurts to Acapulco or to a party congress dupe the ordinary passenger into believing that he has made it into the shrunk world of the powerfully rushed. The occasional chance to spend a few hours strapped into a high-powered seat makes him an accomplice in the distortion of human space, and prompts him to consent to the design of his country's geography around vehicles rather than around people.

The model American male devotes more than 1600 hours a year to his car. He sits in it while it goes and while it stands idling. He parks it and searches for it. He earns the money to put down on it and to meet the monthly installments. He works to pay for gasoline, tolls, insurance, taxes, and tickets. He spends four of his sixteen waking hours on the road or gathering his resources for it. And this figure does not take into account the time consumed by other activities dictated by transport: time spent in hospitals, traffic courts, and garages; time spent watching automobile commercials or attending consumer education meetings to improve the quality of the next buy. The model American puts in 1600 hours to get 7500 miles: less than five miles per hour. In countries deprived of a transportation industry, people manage to do the same, walking wherever they want to go, and they allocate only 3 to 8 percent of their society's time budget to traffic instead of 28 percent. What distinguishes the traffic in rich countries from the traffic in poor countries is not more mileage per hour of lifetime for the majority, but more hours of compulsory consumption of high doses of energy, packaged and unequally distributed by the transportation industry.

SPEED-STUNNED IMAGINATION

Past a certain threshold of energy consumption, the transportation industry dictates the configuration of social space. Motorways expand, driving wedges between neighbors and removing fields beyond the distance a farmer can walk. Ambulances take clinics beyond the few miles a sick child can be carried. The doctor will no longer come to the house, because vehicles have made the hospital into the right place to be sick. Once heavy trucks reach a village high in the Andes, part of the local market disappears. Later, when the high school arrives at the plaza along with the paved highway, more and more of the young people move to the city, until not one family is left which does not long for a reunion with someone hundreds of miles away, down on the coast.

The product of the transportation industry is the habitual passenger. He has been boosted out of the world in which people still move on their own, and he has lost the sense that he stands at the center of his world. The habitual passenger is conscious of the exasperating time scarcity that results from daily recourse to the cars, trains, buses, subways, and elevators that force him to cover an average of twenty miles each day, frequently criss-crossing his path within a radius of less than five miles. He has been lifted off his feet. No matter if he goes by subway or jet plane, he feels slower and poorer than someone else and resents the shortcuts taken by the privileged few who can escape the frustrations of traffic. If he is cramped by the timetable of his commuter train, he dreams of a car. If he drives, exhausted by the rush hour, he envies the speed capitalist who drives against the traffic. The habitual passenger is caught at the wrong end of growing inequality, time scarcity, and personal impotence, but he can see no way out of this bind except to demand more of the same: more traffic by transport. He stands in wait for technical changes in the design of vehicles, roads, and schedules; or else he expects a revolution to produce mass rapid transport under public control. In neither case does he calculate the price of being hauled into a better future. He forgets that he is the one who will pay the bill, either in fares or in taxes. He overlooks the hidden costs of replacing private cars with equally rapid public transport.

The habitual passenger cannot grasp the folly of traffic based overwhelmingly on transport. His inherited perceptions of space and time and of personal pace have been industrially deformed. He has lost the power to conceive of himself outside the passenger role. To "gather" for him means to be brought together by vehicles. He takes freedom of movement to be the same as one's claim on propulsion. He has lost faith in the political power of the feet and of the tongue. As a result, what he wants is not more liberty as a citizen but better service as a client. He does not insist on his freedom to move and to speak to people but on his claim to be shipped and to be informed by media. He wants a better product rather than freedom from servitude to it. It is vital that he come to see that the acceleration he demands is self-defeating, and that it must result in a further decline of equity, leisure, and autonomy.


DEGREES OF SELF-POWERED MOBILITY

A century ago, the ball-bearing was invented. It reduced the coefficient of friction by a factor of a thousand. By applying a well-calibrated ball-bearing between two Neolithic millstones, a man could now grind in a day what took his ancestors a week. The ball-bearing also made possible the bicycle, allowing the wheel -- probably the last of the great Neolithic inventions -- finally to become useful for self-powered mobility.

Man, unaided by any tool, gets around quite efficiently. He carries one gram of his weight over a kilometer in ten minutes by expending 0.75 calories. Man on his feet is thermodynamically more efficient than any motorized vehicle and most animals. For his weight, he performs more work in locomotion than rats or oxen, less than horses or sturgeon. At this rate of efficiency man settled the world and made its history. At this rate peasant societies spend less than 5 per cent and nomads less than 8 per cent of their respective social time budgets outside the home or the encampment.

Man on a bicycle can go three or four times faster than the pedestrian, but uses five times less energy in the process. He carries one gram of his weight over a kilometer of flat road at an expense of only 0.15 calories. The bicycle is the perfect transducer to match man's metabolic energy to the impedance of locomotion. Equipped with this tool, man outstrips the efficiency of not only all machines but all other animals as well.

The ball-bearing signaled a true crisis, a true political choice. It created an option between more freedom in equity and more speed. The bearing is an equally fundamental ingredient of two new types of locomotion, respectively symbolized by the bicycle and the car. The bicycle lifted man's auto-mobility into a new order, beyond which progress is theoretically not possible. In contrast, the accelerating individual capsule enabled societies to engage in a ritual of progressively paralyzing speed.

Bicycles are not only thermodynamically efficient, they are also cheap. With his much lower salary, the Chinese acquires his durable bicycle in a fraction of the working hours an American devotes to the purchase of his obsolescent car. The cost of public utilities needed to facilitate bicycle traffic versus the price of an infrastructure tailored to high speeds is proportionately even less than the price differential of the vehicles used in the two systems. In the bicycle system, engineered roads are necessary only at certain points of dense traffic, and people who live far from the surfaced path are not thereby automatically isolated as they would be if they depended on cars or trains. The bicycle has extended man's radius without shunting him onto roads he cannot walk. Where he cannot ride his bike, he can usually push it.

The bicycle also uses little space. Eighteen bikes can be parked in the place of one car, thirty of them can move along in the space devoured by a single automobile. It takes three lanes of a given size to move 40,000 people across a bridge in one hour by using automated trains, four to move them on buses, twelve to move them in their cars, and only two lanes for them to pedal across on bicycles. Of all these vehicles, only the bicycle really allows people to go from door to door without walking. The cyclist can reach new destinations of his choice without his tool creating new locations from which he is barred.

Bicycles let people move with greater speed without taking up significant amounts of scarce space, energy, or time. They can spend fewer hours on each mile and still travel more miles in a year. They can get the benefit of technological breakthroughs without putting undue claims on the schedules, energy, or space of others. They become masters of their own movements without blocking those of their fellows. Their new tool creates only those demands which it can also satisfy. Every increase in motorized speed creates new demands on space and time. The use of the bicycle is self-limiting. It allows people to create a new relationship between their life-space and their life-time, between their territory and the pulse of their being, without destroying their inherited balance. The advantages of modern self-powered traffic are obvious, and ignored. That better traffic runs faster is asserted, but never proved. Before they ask people to pay for it, those who propose acceleration should try to display the evidence for their claim.


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Friday, March 19, 2010

Colin D. Miller, Ph.D.


Colin successfully defended his dissertation (which amounted to a theological reading of the book of Romans) yesterday. Congrats, Dr. C.



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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Maturing into Vulnerabiltiy

[I'm thinking as I type, so bear with me.]

On Sunday I spoke to a church group on the topic of being a servant. Within the discussion we spent a few minutes on the theme of "vulnerability". The Gospel, I contended, calls us to a form of service to one another that is vulnerable. There is, in contrast, a form of service that is always invulnerable, always keeping some form of structure between the neighbor and oneself. I think there is a parallel between this mundane distance and what they call in psychology/psychiatry "non-transference". In our case it may be either a physical or emotional distance; we might just say that we keep danger "at arm's length". This may be, for example, the relationship that a one-off server at a soup kitchen has with the local homeless: a well-defined relationship of server to served, on opposites sides of a plexi-glass sneeze guard, fulfilling roles for a specified length of time. One of the dangers of this sort of model is that the "good deed" is often just another luxury one may enjoy, the luxury of noblesse oblige, of doing something good for the less fortunate, etc. It's dangerous because it feeds the ego and the ego eats away at the soul.

So, I challenged this group to be vulnerable to their neighbors, rich or poor. Give to him/her who asks of you. Walk the extra mile. It sounds easy and straightforward. I'm just quoting Jesus after all. But what happens when your neighbor asks of you at an inconvenient time? What if befriending a homeless woman makes you late for work a month later because she has now asked you to sit with her at the doctor's office as she gets a test run? When your boss says, "Get your act together" what will you say or do? My impression is that few employers have much sympathy for the uncertain schedules that arise when one is selfless. The assumption of the workplace is, after all, widely recognized as being driven by the capitalist microeconomic mentality which boils down to self-interest. The self-interested employee will follow the instructions of a boss because he can choose between being fired and being promoted (and sometimes perhaps just staying put, but they want you to believe that if you're not on your way up you're on your way out).

We can become very vulnerable very quickly if we act selflessly in some very simple ways. Looking back, Adam raised this issue in a slightly different setting almost exactly a year ago in his post Scarcity and the Gift (Mar 27, 2009). If your family depends on you to bring home a paycheck while a homeless friend depends on you for companionship in the tough times generating a certain unsatisfactory evaluation of your work ethic in the office, what do you do with a finite amount of time? And, as one astute listener posed in our discussion at church, we obviously can't be vulnerable to every person we meet. Emotionally we'll be spent in no time, and it's just impracticable to be "close" to that many people. What do we do?

With regard to the scenario with the unhappy boss, I have heard repeatedly in my time the argument of managing multiple obligations, being a good steward (read "manager") of one's time, etc. All of these, it seems to me, are derivative of an economic view of time in which the central assumption is that time is scarce and thus the problem of "stewardship" is to figure who gets how much of my time and when in such a way as to... ??? well, what determines the optimum??? maybe: in such a way as to maximize the happiness in the world weighted by my emotional attachment to those I am obligated to, or something equivalently convoluted. That's to say, I don't buy the claim that we only have so much time and so we need to spend (time? effort?) becoming more proficient managers of our time all the while leaving the utility function that goes into this proficiency explicitly in the shadows (so that we don't have to admit that this is utilitarian?).

That said, we do have obligations to our bosses. They're paying us for 40 hours of work each week (even if sometimes they unofficially expect more). So, it seems only right that if we're late for work because we were helping a homeless friend we should make up that time somewhere else in the week. Right? But then one's wife begins to get frustrated that time with the homeless person is taken instead of time with the family (scarcity again!). So what to do? Well, why not just give back that time's worth of money to our boss? Seems just to me. The fact is that most of us want the money more than we want the time (that's why we "make up" time elsewhere if we are late to work). While the adage is "Time is money" maybe it should be "Money is better than time". Some will not be able to survive on less money, but that's also what the church is for. But for most of us, I think we can survive on a little less money, and probably a lot less. We just don't want to, and we kid ourselves into thinking we can get all the money that we want and still be selfless when our neighbor asks for our time. In the end, this isn't selflessness, it's just greed and the sin is transferred to one's boss or one's family.

I suppose I should just be up front: I don't think it's a sin for a family to be poor because the parents serve their neighbors. The Gospel assures us that these will be provided for.

Now what about being vulnerable to too many people? We can't be best friends with everyone. Certainly. Vulnerability does not necessarily mean emotional attachment, but it does mean that we feel an obligation to our neighbor, that we suffer when they suffer, we mourn with them, and we laugh with them. It also means that we are willing to bear their burdens, even if it means bearing them AS a burden (see Gal. 6). It seems to me that there are to modes in which we can bear another's burden. We can do so on the back of our ego or we can do so through grace. What's the difference (besides pious language)?

When we bear burdens with our ego we do so under our own power and by our own self will. The fruit of bearing burdens in this way is that we feel empowered, that we have performed a tremendous work for the good of our neighbor. It's the fruit, I think, that so easily identifies this mode. On the other hand, if we bear another's burden on grace, it means that we recognize that we have not born anything by our own power, but that we have been able precisely to move our egos out of the interaction sufficiently that God might carry the neighbor's burden through us. The fruit of this is that we recognize that we have done nothing but be a vehicle of God's grace, that by some effort and training we have held our sinfulness in check that another might experience God. And the work seems almost fleetingly simple because we have had to bear no real weight. The Way is difficult, but the burden is light.

It is here that I want to introduce a notion on which I have not heard anyone else speak but which seems clear to me: there is a very real and practical difference in spiritual maturity among Christians. Call it spiritual maturity or just holiness, it amounts to the same. And the practical difference that I allude to is that those who are holier have had much practice in putting the old man to death and thus are living ever more fully in Christ and Christ in them, and thus they will be able to bear more of the burden of this world than will novices in the faith precisely because it is not them but Christ in them that bears it. The perfect man can bear the whole sin of the world, but He is one and He is Christ. In the holy I think we see the fruit of Christ's work as the burden of sin on a poor soul is shared by another. The holy take up their cross on which hangs the sin of their neighbor.

We cannot be vulnerable to everyone, but the measure to which we can be vulnerable is the measure to which we have combated the evil in our own hearts so that we might be filled with Christ's love. This is why the way is narrow and difficult, because we must train ourselves against sin and combat the evil in our own hearts, not so that we can save ourselves or save our neighbors but so that Christ's love might find a vessel to be filled and so that that vessel might be poured out for the love of neighbor.

If the burden is heavy, then we are bearing too much of it ourselves. We need to pray earnestly and with urgency "Thy will be done". The way is difficult, for we must kneel and pray through temptation, but the burden is light because it is not ours to bear.

We have lost, I fear, a consciousness of maturing in the faith, a consciousness of the immense practicality of that process and the tremendous danger of leaving the novices in the faith without protection and guidance.

We are called not to adopt vulnerability but to mature into it.

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

“...BUT BY PRAYER AND FASTING”

This is a short blurb from Fr. Alexander Schmemann's book The Great Lent. A good piece of instruction before starting the fast tomorrow. Thanks to JR for typing this up.

"There is no Lent without fasting. It seems, however, that many people today either do not take fasting seriously or, if they do, misunderstand its real spiritual goals. For some people, fasting consists in a symbolic “giving up” of something; for some others, it is a scrupulous observance of dietary regulations. But in both cases, seldom is fasting referred to the total lenten effort. Here as elsewhere, therefore, we must first try to understand the Church's teaching about fasting and then ask ourselves: how can we apply this teaching to our life?
Fasting or abstinence from food is not exclusively a Christian practice. It existed and still exists in other religions and even outside religion, as for example in some specific therapies. Today people fast (or abstain) for all kinds of reasons, including sometimes political reasons. It is important, therefore, to discern the uniquely Christian content of fasting. It is first of all revealed to us in the interdependence between two events which we find in the Bible: one at the beginning of the Old testament and the other at the beginning of the New Testament. The first event is the “breaking of the fast” by Adam in Paradise. He ate of the forbidden fruit. This is how man's original sin is revealed to us. Christ, the New Adam-- and this is the second event-- begins by fasting. Adam was tempted and he succumbed to temptation; Christ was tempted and He overcame that temptation. The results of Adam's failure are expulsion from Paradise and death. The fruits of Christ's victory are the destruction of death and our return to Paradise. The lack of space prevents us from giving a detailed explanation of the meaning of this parallelism. It is clear, however, that in this perspective fasting is revealed to us as something decisive and ultimate in its importance. It is not a mere “obligation,” a custom; it is connected with the very mystery of life and death, of salvation and damnation.
In the Orthodox teaching, sin is not only the transgression of a rule leading to punishment; it is always a mutilation of life given to us by God. It is for this reason that the story of the oiginal sin is presented to us as an act of eating. For food is means of life; it is that which keeps us alive. But here lies the whole question: what does tit mean to be alive and what does “life” mean? For us today this term has a primarily biological meaning: life is precisely that which entirely depends on food, and more generally, on the physical world. But for the Holy Scripture and for Christian Tradition, this life “by bread alone” is identified with death because it is mortal life, because death is a principle always at work in it. God, we are told, “created no death.” He is the Giver of Life. How then did life become mortal? Why is death and death alone the only absolute condition of that which exists? The Church answers: because man rejected life as it was offered and given to him by God and preferred a life depending not on God alone but on “bread alone.” Not only did he disobey God for which he was punished; he changed the very relationship between himself and the world. To be sure, the world was given to him by God as “food”-- as means of life; yet life was meant to be communion with God; it had not only its end but its full content in Him. “In Him was Life and the Life was the light of man.” The world and food were thus created as means of communion with God, and only if accepted for God's sake were to give life. In itself food has no life and cannot give life. Only God has Life and is Life. In food itself God-- and not calories-- was the principle of life. Thus to eat, to be alive, to know God and be in communion with Him were on and the same thing. The unfathomable tragedy of Adam is that he ate for its own sake. More that that, he ate “apart from God in order to be independent of Him. And if he did it, it is because he believed that food had life in itself and that he, by partaking of that food, could be like God, i.e., have life in himself. To put it very simply: he believed in food, whereas the only object of belief, of faith, of dependence is God and God alone. World, food, became his gods, the sources and principles of his life. He became their slave. Adam-- in Hebrew-- means “man.” It is my name, our common name. Man is still Adam, still the slave of “food.” He may claim that he receives his life from God but he doesn't live in God and for God. His science, his experience, his self-consciousness are all built on that same principle: “by bread alone.” We eat in order to be alive but we are not alive in God. This is the sin of all sins. This is the verdict of death pronounced on our life.
Christ is the New Adam. He comes to repair the damage inflicted on life by Adam, to restore man to true life, and thus He also begins with fasting. “When He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He became hungry” (Matt. 4:2). Hunger is that state in which we realize our dependence on something else-- when we urgently and essentially need food-- showing thus that we have no life in ourselves. It is that limit beyond which I either die from starvation or, having satisfied my body, have again the impression of being alive. It is, in other words, the time when we face the ultimate question: on what does my life depend? And, since the question is not an academic one but is felt with my entire body, it is also the time of temptation. Satan came to Adam in Paradise; he came to Christ in the desert. He came to two hungry men and said: eat, for your hunger is the proof that you depend entirely on food, that your life is in food. And Adam believed and ate; but Christ rejected that temptation and said: man shall not live by bread alone but by God. He refused to accept that cosmic lie which Satan imposed on the world, making that lie a self-evident truth not even debated any more, the foundation of our entire world view, of science, medicine, and perhaps even of religion. By doing this, Christ restored that relationship between food, life and God which Adam broke, and which we still break every day.
What then is fasting for us Christians? It is our entrance and participation in that experience of Christ Himself by which He liberates us from the total dependence on food, matter, and the world. By no means is our liberation a full one. Living still in the fallen world, in the world of the Old Adam, being part of it, we still depend on food. But just as our death-- through which we still must pass-- has become by virtue of Christ's Death a passage into life, the food we eat and the life it sustains can be life in God and for God. Part of our food has already become “food of immortality”-- the Body and Blood of Christ Himself. But even the daily bread we receive from God can be in this life and in this world that which strengthens us, our communion with God, rather than that which separates us from God. Yet it is only fasting that can perform that transformation, giving us the existential proof that our dependence on food and matter is not total, not absolute, that united to prayer, grace and adoration, it can itself be spiritual.
All this means that deeply understood, fasting is the only means by which man recovers his true spiritual nature. It is not a theoretical but truly a practical challenge to the great Liar who managed to convince us that we depend on bread alone and built all human knowledge, science, and existence on that lie. Fasting is a denunciation of that lie and also the proof that it is a lie. It is highly significant that it was while fasting that Christ met Satan and that He said later that Satan cannot be overcome “but by fasting and prayer.” fasting is the real fight against the Devil because it is the challenge to that one all-embracing law which makes him the “Prince of this world.” Yet if one is hungry and then discovers that he can truly be independent of that hunger, not be destroyed by it but just on the contrary, can transform it into a source of spiritual power and victory, the nothing remains of that great lie in which we have been living since Adam.
How far we are by now from the usual understanding of fasting as a mere change of diet, as what is permitted and what is forbidden, from all that superficial hypocrisy! Ultimately, to fast means only one thing: to be hungry-- to go to the limit of that human condition which depends entirely on food and, being hungry, to discover that this dependency is not the whole truth about man, that hunger itself is first of all a spiritual state and that it is in its last reality hunger for God. In the early church, fasting always meant total abstinence, a state of hunger, pushing the body to the extreme. It is here, however, that we discover also that fasting as a physical effort is totally meaningless without its spiritual counterpart: “... by fasting and prayer.” This means that without the corresponding spiritual effort, without feeding ourselves with Divine Reality, without discovering our total dependence on God and God alone, physical fasting would indeed be suicide. If Christ Himself was tempted while fasting, we have not a single chance of avoiding that temptation. Physical fasting, essential as it is, is not only meaningless, it is truly dangerous if it is disconnected from the spiritual effort-- from prayer and concentration on God. Fasting is an art fully mastered by Saints; it would be presumptuous and dangerous for us if we attempted that art without discernment and caution. The entire lenten worship is a constant reminder of the difficulties, the obstacles, and the temptations that await those who think that they may depend on their will power and not on God.
It is for this reason that we need first of all a spiritual preparation for the effort of fasting. It consists in asking God for help and also in making our fast God-centered. We should fast for God's sake. We must rediscover our body as the Temple of His Presence. We must recover a religious respect for the body, for food, for the very rhythm of life. All this must be done before the actual fast begins so that when we begin to fast, we would be supplied with spiritual weapons, with a vision, with a spirit of fight and victory.
Then comes the fast itself. In accordance with what has been said above, it should be practiced on two levels: first, as ascetical fast; and second, as total fast. The ascetical fast consists of a drastic reduction of food so that the permanent state of a certain hunger might be lived as a reminder of God and a constant effort to keep our mind on Him. Everyone who has practiced it-- be it only a little-- knows that this ascetical fast rather than weakening us makes us light, concentrated, sober, joyful, pure. One receives food as a real gift of God. One is constantly directed at that inner world which inexplicably becomes a kind of food in its own right. The exact amount of food to be received in this ascetical fasting, its rhythm and its quality, need not be discussed here; they depend on our individual capacities, the external conditions of our lives. Bu the principle is clear: it is a state of half-hunger whose “negative” nature is at all times transformed by prayer, memory, attention, and concentration into a positive power. As to the total fast, it is of necessity to be limited in duration and coordinated with the Eucharist…Whether we fast on that day from early morning or from noon, the main point here is to live through that day as a day of expectation, hope, hunger for God Himself. It is a spiritual concentration on that which comes, on the gift to be received, and for the sake of which one gives up all other gifts.
After all this is said, one must still remember that however limited our fasting, if it is true fasting it will lead to temptation, weakness, doubt, and irritation. In other terms, it will be a real fight and probably we shall fail many times. But the very discovery of Christian life as fight and effort is the essential aspect of fasting. A faith which has not overcome doubts and temptation is seldom a real faith. No progress in Christian life is possible, alas, without the bitter experience of failures. Too many people start fasting with enthusiasm and give up after the first failure. I would say that it is at this first failure that the real test comes. If after having failed and surrendered to our appetites and passions we start all over again and do not give up no matter how many times we fail, sooner or later our fasting will bear its spiritual fruits. Between holiness and disenchanted cynicism lies the great and divine virtue of patience-- patience, first of all with ourselves. There is no short-cut to holiness; for every step we have to pay the full price. Thus it is better and safer to begin at a minimum-- just slightly above our natural possibilities-- and to increase our effort little by little, than to try jumping too high at the beginning and to break a few bones when falling back to earth.
In summary: from a symbolic and nominal fast-- the fast as obligation and custom-- we must return to the real fast. Let it be limited and humble but consistent and serious. Let us honestly face our spiritual and physical capacity and act accordingly-- remembering however that there is no fast without challenging that capacity, without introducing into our life a divine proof that things impossible with men are possible with God."

Amen.

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Monday, February 8, 2010

In preparation for Lent

I borrowed this from the website Monachos.net. The old man's response is fairly lengthy, be sure to click below to read the full response. Enjoy:

A boy once approached his father, ‘Old man, why do you fast?’ The father stood silent, bringing heart and mind together, and then:

‘Beloved boy, I fast to know what it is I lack.
For day by day I sit in abundance, and
all is well before me;
I want not, I suffer not, and I
lack but that for which I invent a need.
But my heart is empty of true joy,
filled, yet overflowing with dry waters.
There is no room left for love.
I have no needs, and so my needs are never met,
no longings, and so my desires are never fulfilled.
Where all the fruits of the earth could dwell, I have
filled the house with dust and clouds;
It is full, so I am content—
But it is empty, and so I weep.


‘Thus I fast, beloved, to know the
dust in which I dwell.
I take not from that which I might take,
for in its absence I am left empty,
and what is empty stands ready to be
filled.
I turn from what I love, for my love is barren,
and by it I curse the earth.
I turn from what I love, that I may purify my loving,
and move from curse to blessing.

‘From my abundance I turn to want,
as the soldier leaves the comfort of home,
of family and love,
to know the barrenness of war.
For it is only amongst the fight, in the
torture of loss, in the fire of battle,
that lies are lost and the blind man
clearly sees.
In hunger of body and mind, I see
the vanity of food,
for I have loved food as food,
and have never been fed.
In weary, waking vigil I see
the vanity of sleep,
for I have embraced sleep as desire,
and have never found rest.
In sorrow, with eyes of tears I see
the vanity of pleasure,
for I have treasured happiness above all,
and have never known joy.

‘I fast, beloved child, to crush the wall
that is my self;
For I am not who I am, just as these passions
are not treasures of gold but of clay.
I fast to die, for it is not the living who are
raised, but the dead.
I fast to crucify my desires, for He who was
crucified was He who lived,
and He who conquered,
and He who lives forever.’

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

On the Ground in Haiti

This is an email from Pastor Leon who showed Lisa around when she visited last year.

"...We're doing fine but very concerned for our brothers and sisters who
lived around us. The situation is very critical as most people are
living with lots of fear thinking that the last days are in. Some
people heard on the news that this ordeal would last 'till Friday.
That doesn't help their behavior at all for too many of them are so
emotional and not being able to think for themselves on how to best
live the moment. I'm truly moved with lots of compassion for them.

No one wants to get close to their homes for fear of death, except
crazy guys like me, thinking that their house would fall on them. We
have over three millions people living in Port-au-Prince most of them
have been sleeping on the streets since the warning. I'm sure some of
them would continue to do that even beyond Friday, the supposed last
day of the quake, for fear of death.

Our churches , schools and clinic buildings have all suffered much
damage. Two out of the four churches, Cite Soleil church and
Repatriate churches, are nonfunctional.Those buildings are still
standing up but look very unstable, unsecured for worship. I haven't
been able to visit Ibo Beach yet . I plan to do that today. I will
send more information to you after I visited Ibo Beach.

Cells phone are practically dead except for one company (Haitel) which
I don't do business with for years since the other providers come on
the scene. Gaz is very scared and very expensive. One gallon of gaz
costed as much as $12.50 (U.S. dollars) in some places yesterday.
Some people are taking advantage of the situation to practice black
market. Markets aren't open; food is scared , expensive and rare, gaz
stations aren't open either. Water trucks are not delivering water.
Schools and businesses are closed. It was a very unusual day in Haiti
yesterday. It sounds like what John talked about in Revelation is
begging to be a reality at least for a short time in Haiti.

Yesterday, I was able to visit several families in their homes. Their
situation demands much attention. Many houses are destroyed; some need
major repairs, lots of them need to be totally rebuilt. So far we've
registered five deaths in the three churches that I visited and many
injured people. In the case of the Repatriate church, the quake
started while their were having 278 people showed up for Bible study
and prayer. Many people were injured while trying to ran to save their
lives. It was a sad thing to see. One young boy, about 8 years old,
died from a fallen wall while getting ready to go to church. Several
got injured.

Our church compounds (Cite Soleil and Blanchard) are being used as
places of refuge, away from the danger of any houses and trees that
could fall on the people. Thank God for the soccer field in C/S as
well as the one in Blanchard. Both being used as camping grounds for
the people in the community.

Some of you might remember Boselor, known to some of you as Bosie , he
was found died yesterday inside a class room with several other
students where he used to go to school. Another college student from
Blanchard church was also found dead in a class room in
Port-au-Prince. I heard of couple more from Cite Soleil church but
I've been able to confirm that information yet. Expect to hear more
about from me later on today.

The total people that have been injured and died from the quake
couldn't possibly be known by any one person or agent. I heard
reports anywhere from 50,000 - 100,000. I don't know how many but
I've seen too many dead bodies on the streets of Port - au - Prince
yesterday. It was a very sad and provocative day of my life. I
seriously question our government's ability, specially their
possibility and capability to help with the situation even half way
decent.

We called for an all leaders' meeting for this coming Saturday to find
out together how we're going to be and do church in the months to
come. We have so many needs to meet both physical and spiritual, we
don't know for sure where and how to begging. We don't know for sure
where we're going to meet for worship, specially with the C/S and
Repatriate folks. We recommend that several large and big tents be
sent right away to help momentarily with the situation. In C/S we
normally have between 2,200 -2300 in worship every Sunday. The tents
need to be big enough to hold at least 1,500 people We need two for
C/S church. We need two others that could hold at least 600 and 200
each to use in Repatriate.

We thank God for giving Allen & the Obrians , the inspiration to
build the soccer field in C/S that is now being use as a camp ground,
a refuge place, a place away from any danger of being exposed to
fallen houses and walls. For all practical reason, the soccer field
could be used and a place of worship but we need tents large and big
enough to accommodate the people that we have. Most likely , based on
historical facts, we would have more people coming to know the Lord as
their Savior or coming back to the church as result of this ordeal.
We need to be ready and be prepared to receive and welcome them. The
sooner the better.

We hope to meet together this week end as a group of leaders to find
out what we should do to minister both spiritually and physically to
the people that the Lord has entrusted to us. Needless to say that
your prayers as well as your financial assistance and that of your
friends are needed for your brothers and sisters who are living in
Haiti.

Palms's water project is nonoperational at this time due to the wall
that felt on the building and destroyed some of the installation.
Moreover, the building that the project was in is half destroyed by
the wall that collapsed right on it. It was very sad to see that
yesterday.

We have a situation in C/S and Blanchard where water is coming up from
the ground because of too many splits (cracks) in the ground. The
wells in Repatriate are over flowed with water. Water is coming up
through the pipes into the streets like a spring. It looks very
dangerous.

The only decent building that we now have in C/S is the cafeteria and
the second school building built by Ferdie's group six or seven years
ago. All other buildings in that compound are questionable for future
usage. The wall in C/S and in Repatriate are totally destroyed. Their
is no security whatsoever in those two compounds. The sewing machines
in C/S are all destroyed.

Blanchard's buildings look very good except for a large crack that we
saw between the library building and the hall way that connects the
second floor of that building to the library. I plan to invite couple
engineers, after the situation is over, to see if there is any way we
could restore and secure all of our buildings for good usage in the
future. The situation is called for immediate action both for the
physical and spiritual needs of the people.

Please stay in touch . I would probably have more to share with you
as the situation is developing.

In the service of the King together with you on behalf of our brothers
and sisters in Haiti.

Leon & Jacky Dorleans

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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

St. Therese on Giving to Him Who Begs (Part I)

I don't think we've posted this before, surprising as that may be. Even if we had, a little repetition never hurt a soul. From her autobiography:

Jesus teaches me: "Give to everyone that asketh thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods, ask them not again." It is not so pleasant to give to everyone who asks as it is to offer something freely and spontaneously; and it is easy to give when you are asked nicely, but if we are asked tactlessly, we at once want to refuse unless perfect charity strengthens us. We find a thousand reasons for sayig no, and it is not until we have made the sister aware of her bad manners that we give her what she wants as a favor, or do her a slight service which takes a quarter of the time needed to tell her of the obstacles preventing our doing it or of our fancied rights.

If it is hard to give to anyone who asks, it is very much harder to let what belongs to us be taken without asking for it back. I say that it is hard, but I should really say that is seems hard, for "the yoke of the Lord is sweet and His burden is light." The moment we accept it, we feel how light it is.

I have said that Jesus does not want me to ask for the return of what belongs to me. That seems very right, as nothing really does belong to me. So I should rejoice when I have the chance of experiencing that poverty to which I am solemnly vowed. I used to believe I had no possessiveness about anything; but since I have really grasped what Jesus means, I see how far I am from being perfect. If, for example, I settle down to start painting and find the brushes in a mess, or a ruler or a penknife gone, I very nearly lose my patience and have to hold on to it with both hands to prevent my asking bad-temperedly for them. Of course I can ask for these essential tools and I do not disobey Jesus if I ask humbly. I behave like poor people who hold out their hands for the necessities of life. As no one owes them anything, they are never surprised at being rebuffed. What peace pours over the soul once it soars above natural feelings! There is no joy like that known by the truly poor in spirit. Our Lord's counsel is: "If any man take away thy coat, let go thy cloak also unto him," and these poor in spirit are following this counsel when they ask, with detachment, for some necessary thing and it is refused them and an effort is made to snatch away even what they have. To give up one's coat means to renounce one's last rights and to regard oneself as the servant and the slave of others. Without one's cloak, it is much easier to walk and run, and so Jesus adds: "And whosoever willforce thee one mile, go with him another two." It is not enough for me to give to all who ask me: I must go beyond what they want. I must show how grateful and honoured I am to serve them and if anything I use is taken away, I must appear glad to be rid of it.

(to be continued...)

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